I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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