Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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