we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
