Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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