Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
