How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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