what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
