I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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