were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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