Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
