saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
