How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
