2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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