i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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