Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
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I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
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Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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