my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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