But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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