i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
