Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
