Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
