chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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