I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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