Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
