In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
