I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
