8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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