He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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