Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
