Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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