I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
