community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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