There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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