wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
