that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
