I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
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Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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