my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
smell my finger.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
