Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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