): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
