if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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