Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
