nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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