i can't believe i had my finger in that
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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