before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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