another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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