You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
