is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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