In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
