Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
