god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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