It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
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That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
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Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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