part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
