Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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