we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You were trust falling into bushes
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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