Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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