found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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