May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Randomize
