I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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