why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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