I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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