On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
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