Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
