um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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