And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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