Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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