Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
