We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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