i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
